Bulldozing Boozebag

Bottle of your cheapest wine please

An impatient Mahogany Morrow decided the 40 seconds she spent on line at Rite Buy Liquors was long enough. She proceeded to trash the place, smashing an estimated $1,600 dollars worth of booze, or approximately the equivalent of 8,000 Busch Lights. As evidenced by the video, she could not use the “big coat” excuse

Stumping for Trump

(Insert "you're fired!" joke here)

Michael Cohen, a Trump Organization VP, not to mention the cofounder of Should Trump Run (do I really have to explain what this site’s about?) was in Iowa trying to handicap The Donald’s chances for a presidential run

 

Just Dessert

Blair River, the almost 600-pound spokesman for the Heart Attack Grill died on Tuesday. The lovable behemoth was only 29 years old. He will be remembered as the biggest American hero of all. See you in that big buffet in the sky brotha

Here's to you Blair. Now come on home

Birthday Buzz Kill

Silvia Olveira is suing her former boss after he gave her a vibrator for her birthday. Ibrahim Mansi told her, “Come on, girl. You don’t know how to enjoy your life”. No truer words have ever been spoken

They couldn't have just given us flowers?

Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy

YOU ain't supposed to pay HIM bitch!

A Queens man was arrested Tuesday for ripping off hookers. He’d proposition the girls, do the deed, then he’d claim to be a cop, and flash a badge when it was all over. They’d give him his money back so he wouldn’t arrest them. The International Brotherhood of Pimps commended the arrest.

Break Out the Bubbly

As everyone knows, today is “Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day” all over the country.  The brain child of inventor Marc Chavannes is now in it’s 51st year of driving parents insane.

Thank you Marc Chavannes

Smoked Out

Two Washington Heights men took a page out of Thurgood Jenkins’ book by handing out business cards for their drug dealing ring. As you can imagine, it took a whole lot to bust these guys. No word on whether or not they pissed off Samson Simpson in the process.

You muthafucka's ever heard of Craigslist?