Category Archives: Huh?

Bye Bye Birdies

Example A: There's nothing strange about these two

A bunch of dazed and/or dead baby finches (that’s a bird) were found in Gramercy Park. There’s no explanation yet, but people are looking in the direction of Aldon James, known as “the bird man of Gramercy Park”.  Any time you’re known as any kind of “man”, you better be a superhero, otherwise, there’s a good chance you’re a weirdo.

What’s Left?

Left-handers: Pure Evil

Scientists are doing more research on left-handedness. They hope to determine why there has been a consistent 90/10 split between righties and lefties respectively, going all the way back to the days of cave paintings. There also trying to shine a little more light on the appeal of “the stranger”, although that’s pretty obvious.

Pooper Troopers

Lower East Side residents are complaining about the piles of horse crap they have to wade through every day. The NYPD’s Mounted Unit was dispatched to the area in January to keep an eye on the nightlife. The cops say the poop’s biodegradable, so at least when LESers take a deep breath of shit in the morning, they know the earth is cool with it.

I bet you're tired of hay, aren't you Buttercup?

Bulldozing Boozebag

Bottle of your cheapest wine please

An impatient Mahogany Morrow decided the 40 seconds she spent on line at Rite Buy Liquors was long enough. She proceeded to trash the place, smashing an estimated $1,600 dollars worth of booze, or approximately the equivalent of 8,000 Busch Lights. As evidenced by the video, she could not use the “big coat” excuse

Just Dessert

Blair River, the almost 600-pound spokesman for the Heart Attack Grill died on Tuesday. The lovable behemoth was only 29 years old. He will be remembered as the biggest American hero of all. See you in that big buffet in the sky brotha

Here's to you Blair. Now come on home

Birthday Buzz Kill

Silvia Olveira is suing her former boss after he gave her a vibrator for her birthday. Ibrahim Mansi told her, “Come on, girl. You don’t know how to enjoy your life”. No truer words have ever been spoken

They couldn't have just given us flowers?

Break Out the Bubbly

As everyone knows, today is “Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day” all over the country.  The brain child of inventor Marc Chavannes is now in it’s 51st year of driving parents insane.

Thank you Marc Chavannes