Category Archives: Crime

Juror Furor

These jurors need to shut up

Judges in the Bronx are worried that jurors are chatting it up about their cases too much. This could obviously lead to all sorts of problems. Quotes include, the defendant is “too cute to convict”. That’s exactly how I ducked my first three murders.

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Bulldozing Boozebag

Bottle of your cheapest wine please

An impatient Mahogany Morrow decided the 40 seconds she spent on line at Rite Buy Liquors was long enough. She proceeded to trash the place, smashing an estimated $1,600 dollars worth of booze, or approximately the equivalent of 8,000 Busch Lights. As evidenced by the video, she could not use the “big coat” excuse

Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy

YOU ain't supposed to pay HIM bitch!

A Queens man was arrested Tuesday for ripping off hookers. He’d proposition the girls, do the deed, then he’d claim to be a cop, and flash a badge when it was all over. They’d give him his money back so he wouldn’t arrest them. The International Brotherhood of Pimps commended the arrest.

Smoked Out

Two Washington Heights men took a page out of Thurgood Jenkins’ book by handing out business cards for their drug dealing ring. As you can imagine, it took a whole lot to bust these guys. No word on whether or not they pissed off Samson Simpson in the process.

You muthafucka's ever heard of Craigslist?

Gas Attack

Marc Higgins was farting up a storm at a party on Saturday night. It got so bad that he was eventually slapped in the face by a woman at the party. Instead of farting some more (which seems like the only logical payback), he returned with a bunch of knives and a BB gun, and things kind of went badly from there.

There's gonna be murders

Tough Crowd

It might be time to dump those tickets to Cancun. Things just keep getting crazier in Mexico as two members of the band, Le Excelencia were murdered for not coming out for an encore. Good times. I think I’ll just go to Columbia instead. It’s safe there right?

Don't go to Mexico, we've lost control

Fifty Dollars and a Dream

A Long Island man was busted Thursday for running a fake raffle. The prize? None other than his own million dollar Massapequa home. Where do you buy tickets to house raffles anyway? Maybe that should’ve been warning flag number one to ticket holders. That, or the fact that the actual tickets were just pieces of old newspaper with numbers written on them.

No seriously, it's only fifty bucks! You can't lose!